Fly Little Wing

My favourite band is The Corrs. I was introduced to this band by a video on YouTube. It was a video of a little Korean (I think) girl singing Summer Sunshine so cutely while travelling by car. (Sadly, the video no longer exists) I instantly fell in love with the song and browsed the lyrics and got the song. A few months later, I was looking for some soft music on the internet when I came across a song sung by a woman. The music was the most melodious and harmonious I'd ever heard. It was freely available for download and I did. A few days later when I browsed the lyrics of the song, I found that this song was sung by The Corrs too. The song was "Runaway". The song I had downloaded wasn't the original but by some party singer. Slowly, I listened to all their their songs one after the other, each one just as good as the other. And now, three years later they're my favourite and THE BEST contemporary band I've known. I'd compare them to ABBA, all of whose songs I love.

It was only recently that I watched their interviews on YouTube. And boy was I impressed. Just like every favourite artiste of mine, they're so down-to-earth and humble. They speak of their success and fame as not really a big deal, as if it was a natural thing that happened to everybody every day. They said they made music because they loved it and that they were only fortunate that people loved their music and made them successful. They didn't make music with the aim of becoming huge pop stars one day, and that struck me. I love it when people do things just out of sheer love for it. Of course, people who make such wonderful music must be wonderful at heart as well which makes The Corrs even more endearing.

I recently went through my old files, files created over a year ago. They were mostly artwork, ringtones, recorded songs, attempts at stories and poems, postcards sent and received pictures of drawings in the corners of my class notebooks. I was surprised at all the things I'd done while in the hostel. I wouldn't do half of what I did then, now. And that's only because now, I feel pressured to create artwork to impress people, my teachers, my peers, my classmates. I want them to say it's good. And that has made me extremely conscious and over-critical of myself. That is turning out to be my biggest hindrance in completing animation assignments. It was so much better when I didn't have a deadline, didn't have expectations to cater to, did art because I loved it, when I did it for me, for the love of it, without having to care what somebody else thought of it. It's different now, and I despise it. I'm starting to doubt my ability to survive the animation industry when I have such difficulty in completing assignments. At the risk of sounding cliched, art is an expression of the soul. You can't keep me at gun point and make me do it.

Another reason for the apparent lack of interest in animation, is that I've found a new love interest. World history. And International Affairs. (Ha. What did you think?) I find myself desperately and frantically reading articles on history and international affairs (politics for now, but I want to read up on trade too) (Ironically, this was the part I hated the most during school.) All this reading and documentary watching on YouTube leaves little time for anything else. And by anything else, I mean lunch and dinner too. Yeah. It's that bad. And that's affecting my preparation for CAT too. I can no longer remember the 18s table.

So basically, after all this while, I still have no idea what I want to do in life. What is it that I'm really interested in, love doing, that would fetch me a decent salary? The MBA decision is only because there was no way I would spend the rest of my life coding and thinking about programming languages. I read that MBA is for people looking for a change of field. If there is another option, I'd be glad if you could let me know.